Is it good enough just to take care of yourself? No. You have to do something for someone else. Give up a free period and tutor younger kids. Bring your interest into another community. Become a citizen at an early age. The impulse to do for others may start small-may be unorganized at first, or may lead toward a program or event, but it leads young people outside of themselves. It takes practice and training and needs to be nurtured at school age. Play hard with others and have raucous good fun. Ultimate frisbee, roller hockey, tap dancing in the musical, chess, the Shakespeare sonnet marathon. The secret to play is that you don't have to be any good at what you choose. "Most difficult is allowing our children to play hard when their school work seems to suffer." Work toward independence. Follow an academic program that gets successively broader and deeper. Consider it an adventure to take courses in unfamiliar areas, and take charge of the responsibilities in those courses. When work isn't done well or on time, don't send in a team of negotiators to excuse you. Make the school experience your own, from course selection to daily homework to research projects.
			This article comes from the pages of The Parents League News. For more information on this publication click here. How can parents help? Most of us are predictably more supportive of children's interests when they are compatible with our own. More challenging is encouraging the drum player whose five buddies need an apartment to practice in. Or the dancer whose practice sessions take her away from all other after-school and home activities. Most difficult is allowing our children to play hard when their school work seems to suffer, or not intervening when they shift blame to teachers for recurring weak performance. The role of a parent of a fifth grader is decidedly different from that of a tenth grader, and the evolution is important to all concerned. How do children grow? Almost never as we would have predicted, but always incrementally. They grow with parents and schools who inch them toward independence in each successive year and encourage them along the way to do for themselves, do for others, and play hard. (back)